by Donnie Jackson
“Daniel won’t follow directions.”
“Tyler is out of control.”
“Ashley is a wild child.”
“Melissa will not listen.”
“I can’t deal with Thomas.”
“Ugh, what do I do?”
Discipline is a way of life where children are present. In every recreation program and camp, one of the major demands placed on directors and counselors is discipline. The key to handling this issue well is being prepared, which starts with having a plan and understanding different techniques that work.
Be proactive and prepared
By being proactive, you can divert potential problems before they occur, providing a better atmosphere for staff and campers.
One of the best ways to encourage good behavior is to establish a caring relationship with campers. By becoming each camper’s friend, you open the lines of communication, allowing campers to come to you with any problems. This relationship can also help you recognize problems. The friendship helps encourage campers to behave appropriately, because they would not want to disappoint their friend (you) by misbehaving.
Try to identify campers who might cause problems and have strategies in mind to deal with them. If you know a particular camper is more prone to negative behavior, try to start each day in a manner that encourages proper behavior. A few campers will offer the most challenges; having a plan will keep the problems from being overwhelming.
Be careful not to single out campers with a history of problems. Don’t reprimand these campers for slight infractions for which other campers are not punished. Be consistent with the rules you have established and view each problem as an opportunity to reach that camper.
Praise campers
Praise is another effective way to encourage positive behavior. Young people need attention, and they will get it any way they can. When campers see a counselor praising positive behavior and ignoring negative, they recognize that they must behave appropriately to gain attention.
Each day try to catch a few campers displaying praiseworthy behavior and comment on it. Ask those who display positive behavior to be helpers. This recognition will encourage others to strive to do the same.
Model positive behavior
Adults in a camp setting can have a great impact on young people. Campers imitate the behavior of those important to them, and they rarely judge whether it is positive or negative. Staff need to ensure their behavior is worth modeling. Create an atmosphere that overflows with fun and cooperation. This environment encourages campers to have the same attitude.
Schedule activities
Recognize the benefits of keeping campers busy. Young people are active; it’s when they become bored that problems arise. Try to keep the day flowing with activity and eliminate down time. Campers have the most potential for displaying inappropriate behavior during down time. Learn to recognize when campers are bored and be prepared to change activities. If an activity is not holding campers’ attention, think of a new activity. Scheduling many short activities instead of planning a few long ones keeps campers from getting bored. Ending activities while campers are still enjoying them is also important.
Communicate
An important part of discipline is communicating with the camper. Certain approaches increase campers’ understanding of proper behavior. Show campers respect by talking with and listening to them. Help campers understand that they have choices and that it is their responsibility to control their behavior. Teach them to walk away from a situation rather than acting hastily or violently. Encourage campers to think before acting and to consider the consequences of their actions.
Get on the camper’s level
Talk with campers, not down to them. Getting on the camper’s level means two things: using only words the camper understands and sitting or kneeling at his eye level.
Help campers follow directions correctly by using only words in their vocabulary. Discuss the problem with the camper rather than preaching to her. Ask her if she fully understands and have her restate the desired change.
It is intimidating when someone bigger than you speaks down at you. Kneel down or sit at a table where you and the camper can make eye contact. The camper is more likely to openly discuss the situation in this circumstance than when you are looking down at her.
Use I-messages
I-messages emphasize how you feel and help you avoid telling campers what to do and not do. Instead of saying, “Don’t call people names,” try, “I feel sad when you call people names.” I-messages give campers a reason why you believe the behavior is negative. The I-message promotes discussion of the root of the problem and saves the camper from feeling guilty. It also gives the camper an opportunity to respond, whereas a condemnation shuts off the lines of communication.
Use humor
Humor diffuses a situation and allows a child to break down defensive walls to open communication. Humor, especially exaggeration and silliness, helps bring the camper back into appropriate behavior without wasting a great deal of time.
A humorous approach keeps problems from escalating and immediately propels campers into positive behavior. Make sure your humor is not sarcastic or embarrassing, which negates the tearing down of defense mechanisms. Campers who are singled out in front of their peers are more likely to lash out in retaliation to save face, so be certain you’re using humor in a positive way.
Call a time out
If used correctly, time outs can be helpful in dealing with discipline problems. An effective time out is more than just sitting the camper in the corner away from the activity. The time out should give the camper a brief chance to reflect on his inappropriate behavior. Determine the length of a time out using the camper’s age; experts recommend no more than one minute for each year of age.
Time outs are not jail sentences and should be used only for serious behavior situations. The longer the camper sits in time out, the less effective it becomes as a disciplinary tool. To use time outs effectively, have the child sit for the brief period of time to calm down, and then ask the camper to rejoin the activity if she is ready. This method allows the child to have a choice: she can either rejoin the group or, ifneeded, further contemplate her action.
A variation of this method is to allow the child back into the activity after she apologizes to the group for the disruption.
Learn conflict resolution
Disputes often arise between two or more children; most often the dispute is over two different versions of the same event. You do not necessarily need to settle the differences, but you are responsible for helping campers negotiate win-win situations that are fair and agreeable for both sides.
Respect campers by talking with and listening to them.
Help campers understand that they have choices and that it is
their responsibility to control their behavior.
One way to have campers negotiate is to ask them to talk through their problems together and come to a resolution. Although this method often leads to settlements, campers usually agree hastily to avoid missing any more of the activity.
Another option is to have campers write down their versions of the events. Then you can read their stories and focus on the differences. Facilitate the discussion of these differences and help each camper to see the other’s perspective. Also try assembling the disputing campers and telling them that they have two minutes to agree on one story. Then choose one person to be the group’s spokesperson. Many times the campers will have settled their disagreement in building that one story; if they haven’t, you can ask where the problems are and how to deal with them. Focus on the campers’ feelings to detect the root of problems in these conflict resolution negotiations.
By handling discipline issues fairly and effectively, you can ensure that your campers have a meaningful and enjoyable camp experience.
Tips to remember
- Be creative in your discipline and use a variety of methods; one method will not work with every camper.
- Develop a relationship with and involve parents. Parents can assist you in understanding camper’s behavior and you can give parents feedback on their child’s behavior.
- Document everything. Use a discipline form to document the behavior and to identify certain patterns; the form can also be useful in parent conferences or if a decision is made to dismiss a camper from the program.
- Remember that children are going to be children, and this entails activity.
- Learn to allow some misbehavior, or you will become insane over the little things. Choose your battles and save your energy for the important issues.
Donnie Jackson is associated with North Raleigh Sports Camp in North Carolina
From CAMPING Magazine July/August 1997, p. 32-34