Giving and receiving feedback is a very important part of any team communication model. It Is amazing how many problems can erupt during this critical interaction, especially when the act itself is meant to solve problems or improve .a current condition. These following points may prove helpful in giving and receiving feedback:
- Give feedback that is specific rather than general:
DO NOT SAY: “You are domineering.
DO SAY: “You are not listening to what I say. I feel as though I must agree with what you are saying or be attacked by you. “ - Give feedback that focuses on behavior rather than on the person.
Refer to what a person does rather than what you think or imagine she is.
DO NOT SAY: “You are a loudmouth.” (This implies a fixed personality trait.)
DO SAY: “You talked more than anyone else in this meeting.” (This allows for the possibility of change.) - Give feedback that is helpful.
Feedback can be destructive when it serves only your own needs and fails to consider the needs of the person on the receiving end . - Give feedback that focuses on behavior that the receiver can reasonablybe expected to do something about.
DO NOT SAY: “Your soft voice irritates me; I wish you didn’t have it.”
DO SAY: “You speak very softly and it is hard to hear you. Could you talk a little louder, please?” - Give feedback that describes the effect the receiver’s behavior has on you. Avoid asking, “Why?”
DO NOT SAY: “You are always jumping from one subject to another. Why in the world do you do that?”
DO SAY: “You are always switching subjects and it makes it difficult for me to concentrate on what is most important.” - Give feedback when the receiver is ready to hear it.
Feedback should be solicited, never imposed.
DO NOT SAY: “I can see that your are very upset, even so, let me tell you how I felt about your actions.”
DO: Wait until the receiver can hear or accept feedback. - Give feedback that is clear, concise and easily understood by the receiver.
DO NOT SAY: “Once again. I need to tell you what you did wrong.
DO SAY: “D0 you see what I mean / hear what I’m talking about / catch the idea?” - Give feedback in appropriate doses.
DO NOT SAY: “You speak too fast, move your hands too much and mumble.”
DO SAY: “If you would slow down a little. I could better understand you.
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